God Help Us All

Watch out everyone. The mother of Lindsay Lohan, Dina Lohan, otherwise known as the "White Oprah," is coming to a television near you. People is reporting that Dina has scored an E! reality tv show that begins shooting October 30th in New York.

Dina's supposed reason for wanting to do the show?
"There are so many misconceptions about me and my family. I’m setting the record straight."

And what is this God awful show going to encompass?
"It’s about empowering women to be successful single mothers. About being in the limelight without compromising motherhood. It’s about what I do, how you can be successful, and be a single mom and fulfilling your kids’ dreams. Working is my sole source of income.”

Dina's one wish for the show?
“We want it just to be real. It’s okay if it’s not as crazy as the tabloids make it.”

Will we get to see her oldest daughter Blohan?
“Lindsay is a family member and will lend a helping hand if Ali asks her, when she’s in the recording studio.”


This interview is ironic in so many ways I don't even know where to start. First of all Dina, there are no misconceptions about you and your family. I'm pretty sure we all have a pretty good idea of how fucked up the Lohans are in general. Secondly, it's really nice that you want to show how to be "in the limelight without compromising motherhood," but you can't possibly think that you can be an example of that? You carry around Lindsay's coke for her and then help cut her lines to snort. If you could throw Lindsay under a bus you would and I have no doubt you will in the near future. All that being said, I'm really glad that this show is going to be real, you know, absolutely no editing to make it look like you are a super parent and multi-talented entrepreneur when in fact you will never be in the vicinity of either of those things.